The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
