We're facebook friends in real life
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just threw up on my dentist
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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