Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
