I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
