I accidentally had phone sex last night
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
