Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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