You made me cry and you don't even care
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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