i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
