ya dads aren't the best wingmen
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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