so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
