I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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