did you get engaged???
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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