She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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