He is an equal opportunity slut.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
