I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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