Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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