she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
