Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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