piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
