How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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