Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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