I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
