let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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