Hey man sorry I got all grabby
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
