i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Fuck me I smell like cheese
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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