why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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