Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
