This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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