why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
