my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
