if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
