i don't like sucking hair
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize