He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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