i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
