i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize