If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
