We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
