He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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