Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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