he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
