if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
