I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
