I am in a vortex of obligation.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize