whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
