You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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