I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize