Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
