He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
