remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He passed out mid-signature
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
