he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
