Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Randomize
