making cat noises will not fix the situation.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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