This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
