New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
