I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
