Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
